Jesse and I are moving in together! I've spent much of the last week searching for and seeing a few apartments for rent in the area. Many emails and phone calls later, we have a place! It's cute, updated, near a metro and perfect for our first home together. It's especially wonderful because we've been long distance for quite some time. So that means that in the next month and a half, Jesse will finish his school program, move back to the DC area and start a new job, I will complete my master's degree, my office is changing locations AND we will be moving in together in a new apartment. Whew, that's a lot of change in 45 days. I'm excited and nervous and, frankly, tired, just thinking about it! I'm excited to have someone to come home to and to cook with on a regular basis.
So my questions are the following: For those of you that do or have lived with a significant other, or even if you've just thought about it for the future, what are some things you see as important to work out beforehand or that you wish you had talked about before moving in together? What things surprised you, either about yourself, your significant other, or you both as a couple, that you only noticed after living together? What adjustments did you have to make to your routine? Any general advice for us as we start this new chapter in our lives?
Posting here may be sporadic for the next month. My apologies in advance!
{Photo credit: modomatic}
6 comments:
Woo-hoo! So exciting. I remember when me and Himself moved in together - it was such a marking point to the rest of our lives!
I advice compromise, red wine and lots and lots of kisses :)
First of all - congrats! That is so exciting! I'm so happy for you guys.
I was nervous to move in with my fiance because I've always really valued my own space, solitude, and privacy. We talked about that beforehand, and he understood and respected my needs with regards to that issue before we moved in together. The transition was actually easier than I anticipated though. We both have pretty mellow, homebody personalities so we are very much in sync. I think it's important to think about your personalities and the areas in your relationship that might not be in alignment (energy levels, cleanliness, etc.) because those things become magnified when you live together. As long as you talk about those things and reach a level of mutual understanding where both of you feel that your needs will be respected, I think you'll be fine. It's an ongoing process and while it sounds like a cliche, the most important thing is just to communicate.
Again, congrats!!!
Figure out ahead of time how you're going to handle expenses, alternating who pays, book accounting system or joint banking account. Different options work for different people.
Also, make sure to schedule at least 1 night a week when each of you is out of the house, so the other can have some alone time in the apartment! That makes a huge difference!
Congrats! My boyfriend and I were also long distance before moving in together. Do ignore people who try to suggest that you sometime don't really know each other because of this - hopefully you won't have this, but I did on occasion (not out of malice, but it was still annoying).
For us, it was important to realise that sometimes we have very different routines. We don't go to bed together because I'm a morning person, and he's not, and we can't force ourselves to be any different! This is especially important when you're not enjoying a holiday together but have work to do.
Aside from that it wasn't difficult, although I agree with the point about discussing finances in advance.
Yay on all the good news :) Analiese and Lillie covered all the points I was going to make, so I will add just to enjoy yourself :)
hooray! i read your post and comments with particular interest because my boyfriend G and I are in the process of moving in together, too. in our case, he's moving in to my "home" (upstairs apartment in a house). i asked friends for advice and they gave the same wise words as the commenters here:)
have fun!!!
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