It's week four of the Next Chapter Book Club's journey with The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. This week's focus is desire.I'm going to just throw this out there: I hated this week. Hated, hated, hated it. And here's why: I don't know what I want. Beck suggests you ask yourself what you want and then ask, "And then what?" until you get into the thick of it. But what if you can't even answer it the first time? What if you keep asking and asking and nothing comes up? Or things come up that just aren't realistic?
I am really hoping that my Mondo Beyondo journey can help clarify things for me. I am still unsure if it is that I don't know what I want or that I don't want to allow myself to want it and get disappointed or that I feel like I don't deserve it. One thing from the book that I keep repeating to myself: "To put it briefly, false desires taste of fear; true desires taste of love."
Overall I am still glad I decided to join the Next Chapter Book Club's journey because reading only one chapter a week gives me time to think about it and try to implement it, even if it is sometimes frustrating.
{Photo credit: oddsock}
11 comments:
I understand what you wrote today. It's always been hard for me to name my desires. As a child I didn't think I deserved good things and as an adult, I threw myself in to helping everyone else. Now it's MY turn. Sit with your feelings a bit. I'll bet that once you break through, you'll need a whole notebook to write down all the desires :)0
I understand this too Lauren. Not knowing...but not knowing if it's because I really don't know or if I'm not allowing myself to know. In my case I learned through this chapter how things in my childhood have prevented me from realizing true desire in my life and/or how I sabotage myself.
I think the chapters we hate, really hate..are the ones that have the most to tell us, the ones we will ultimately reap the most benefit from.
Here's to us and making those discoveries!
You are just not ready, start with baby steps. Like I want chocolate. or an apple. And go from there. I came to that conclusion. And learned to do levels. And maybe you are just happy with what you already have. I let the last chapter do this to me.
Hope you can decide what you want and then get it. For me I think I am too vage at what I want and therefore that is why things are not really coming to be.
I had similar experiences with desire this week. I found that doing my first draft of my Mondo Beyondo list allowed me to articulate my desires easier.
I also found that my fear of articulating desire had to do with my fears about my own inadequacies.
Be patient and gentle with yourself... our true desires aren't always "realistic," and sometimes they are frightening to face at first because they shake the boat, or the very foundation of who you think you are. But in the long run, they can spurn you into living a more joyful and authentic life... I wrote a blog post about what you're feeling at the beginning of the week... if you're interested, it's at http://www.sacredcirclecreativelife.com/?p=565
It's really hard to pick something from a menu that is not there. :) I know, I experienced the same trepidation. Then, I just created a menu of things I would possibly desire, and it became long. I studied it, and sat with it until some of those things resonated with me. :)
I am just coming off the first Mondo Beyondo class and this book has certainly folded neatly into the Mondo Beyondo work I did.
Be gentle with your self. Good luck.
Thanks for sharing your journey and frustration this week with desire. I can relate. I am also taking Mondo Beyondo right now, I will have to look you up over there.
even if you don't know what you want straight out, the pebble by pebble aspect of what martha beck said was right (at least for me). hugs!!
Naming desires is hard - especially because for me there is fear that as soon as they start tumbling out they will be overwhelming. Now the list of desires seem never-ending, but it's ok, because they are there for me to examine.
Post a Comment