The Joy Diet: Feasting

I will be out of town for the holiday from Wednesday through the weekend, so I am posting my last Joy Diet book club post a little early. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

It is the last week of The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. Appropriately enough with Thanksgiving a few days away, this week's menu item is "feasting". Beck suggests making a list of 20 things that you are grateful for, which is something I often do anyway.

Without further ado, I am grateful:

1. For my family. Good times and bad, thick and thin. Love you guys.

2. For my boyfriend, for holding my hand and my heart. Thank you for being you.

3. For my health. I had a major health scare a few years ago and I know how horrible it is to face those sorts of things. I'm grateful to be here every single day.

4. For having a great job in an uncertain economy. I know just how lucky I am.

5. For being a mere 5 credits shy of finishing my master's degree. This has been a very long and difficult three year journey but it's almost over.

6. For yoga, which has become a reliable source of both inspiration and perspiration.

7. For living in such a great city. The DC skyline never fails to take my breath away.

8. For my friends, who listen, laugh, learn and love right along with me.

9. For my planner pad and my journal, which help me accomplish and dream simultaneously.

10. For all the sadness, disappointments and frustration over the years. I truly believe that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

11. For the quiet moments, whether alone or with others, when tiny sparking truths make themselves known.

12. For great books. Good wordsmiths have the power to change lives.

13. For the stars and the moon, for providing me with some perspective.

14. For candles, chocolate, pedicures, bubble baths, tea and all the other little pleasures that may seem unnecessary but make life oh-so-worth living.

15. For change. It can be scary but it keeps us guessing and growing.

16. For puppies and babies.

17. For photographs, for preserving memories.

18. For travel. Seeing how other people live is a priceless gift. Thank you to Israel, Cuba, Venezuela, Italy, Mexico, Spain and Guatemala for helping me learn about others and myself.

19. For love.

20. For everyone who reads this blog. Your comments, support and questions mean more to me than you'll ever know.

{Photo credit: aussiegall}

The Joy Diet: Connection

This was my favorite chapter of The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. It spoke to me on so many levels that I am not really sure where to begin. Let's just say that recently several key relationships in my life have felt totally out of whack and her suggestions for connection seem like a wonderful way to begin to bring them back to where they used to be.

I really loved when she talked about "nothing doing" while in the presence of the person with whom you want to connect. "I have found that it is impossible to truly do nothing while interacting with another person and not fall in love with them," she writes. To be honest, it is in those quiet moments of togetherness, when we aren't doing anything and my mind isn't all over the place, that I fall even more in love with my boyfriend. I haven't tried this as much with other people in my life, but it feels like it could have endless potential for connection.

One section of this chapter is subtitled, "Master Doing Nothing, Telling Yourself the Truth, Identifying Your Heart's Desires, and Daring to Risk". That in and of itself sounds like a pretty good recipe for life.

{Photo credit: Ana_Cotta}

The Joy Diet: Laughter

This week's Joy Diet menu item was laughter.  I will be honest and say that I did not get around to reading this chapter until Thursday night, which turns out to be exactly when I needed to see it.

I had a stressful day last Thursday.  So stressful that I felt like all I could muster the strength to do was crawl into bed with this book.  Beck writes, "The more stressful, dangerous, baffling, or unpleasant your situation, the more important it is to laugh at it."  I immediately thought, "Yeah right, Martha.  I am in no mood to laugh!  I just want to be annoyed and sad".  I closed the book and went to bed.

The next day I had to leave work to go take my Spanish language exit exam for graduate school, which you have to do well on to get your degree.  On the way there, the sky opened up and it rained sideways, soaking me even with an umbrella.  I was drenched.  I thought I didn't do so well on the test, which was devastating (I have been studying Spanish for almost 15 years now).  I fumed my whole way back to the office, my sneakers making squishing noises the entire time.  Then, when I got back and realized how silly the entire thing was and how little the entire past two days mean in the grand scheme of things,  I began to laugh.  And laugh some more.  It was nearly uncontrollable.  That night, I curled up with some tea and watched "The Wedding Crashers" in my pajamas.  The dark clouds, both outside and in my head, started to go away.  Then I spent the weekend watching episodes of "Glee", which I loved.  It's hysterical.  I'm starting to feel back to normal.

Okay, fine, Martha, so you were right.

"Living your right life is a process that needs the smoothing and bonding effects of laughter."

{Photo credit: sarniebill1}

The Joy Diet: Play

Sometimes things happen that just can't be coincidence.  This week, several of those happened.  One was reading this chapter in the exact moment that I needed it.

In the chapter on play, Beck first asks us to consider what your real career is.  She says that once you know this, you can keep adding more and more play in your life.  Considering I've spent the past three weeks or so utterly freaking out about finding a career/passion/calling and putting it into practice, this was much needed.    Beck talks about September 11th and asks what you did that night--or any other major crisis during which there was clearly a before and an after for you.  For me, that's been reading and writing, as well as doing yoga.  

She asks: When life is over, how do you want the world to be different-in large ways or small-because you have lived?  What experiences must you have to feel you've lived a completely satisfying life?

To be honest, I haven't gotten through much of the rest of the chapter because I've been writing, writing, writing on just those two questions alone.  They are so simple and yet they seem to have opened the flood gates for me.  I can't wait to see where they will take me.

To read more about the Next Chapter Book Club, go here.

{Photo credit: gaspi*yourguide}

The Joy Diet: Risk and Treats

I will be very honest and say that the week of risk did not go so well.  There were a lot of things going on in my life and, as someone who is already fairly risk-averse, I just could not add that on top of it.  I did, however, begin to map out some plans for risk-taking in the near future.

Last week, the week of treats, was much more fun.  The mere act of listing my treats brought a smile to my face during a very difficult seven days.  Here is my list:

-I love the taste of: mint, mashed potatoes, chocolate, pineapple and hot chai tea.

-I love the sight of: my boyfriend, the view of the Washington, DC skyline at night, this Marc Chagall painting, babies and the ocean.

-I love the feel of: great hugs, my baby blanket, fleece, bubble baths and love.

-I love the smell of: puppies, warm vanilla, campfires, matzo ball soup and clean air.

-I love the sound of: the Counting Crows, Deva Premal's Om Namo Bhagavate, laughter, gentle rain and silence.

Read more about The Joy Diet and the Next Chapter Book Club.

{Photo credit: cybriks}

The Joy Diet: Creativity

I admit that when I saw that this week's menu item from The Joy Diet was creativity, I had thoughts of coloring, stickers, glue and modge podge.  I was a little disappointed when I saw what Martha Beck really had in mind.

I tried to think of at least ten innovative solutions to problems I had or decisions I had to make.  And then ten more after that.  The problem for indecisive people like myself is that the more options you think of, the harder it is to pick one.

Then I moved on to "perservate on your enemy", or, in human speak, thinking of things you dislike about your enemy and seeing if it might be a quality you either need or already have.  I have very few enemies but I sincerely hope I do not have the qualities of the people I dislike.  This exercise did not sit well with me, which I realize was precisely the point, but I kept moving along to the others.

Another interesting exercise was to "unify false dichotomies", or to think of things you believe you can't possibly do or be at the same time and see if there is a way to bring them together.  This was one of those things where I know it is useful but I think the results need more than a week to manifest.                

The odd thing is that the easiest one--to do one thing differently--was the one I did not attempt this week.  

My favorite part of this week?  When Beck said, "Uncomfortable truth #1: You are always responsible for creating your life, whether you like it or not."

I think this week taught me to be easy on myself and to let some of Beck's ideas simmer.  I can't expect answers in seven days.

{Photo credit: laffy4k}                                                                                                                        

The Joy Diet: Desire

It's week four of the Next Chapter Book Club's journey with The Joy Diet by Martha Beck. This week's focus is desire.

I'm going to just throw this out there: I hated this week. Hated, hated, hated it. And here's why: I don't know what I want. Beck suggests you ask yourself what you want and then ask, "And then what?" until you get into the thick of it. But what if you can't even answer it the first time? What if you keep asking and asking and nothing comes up? Or things come up that just aren't realistic?

I am really hoping that my Mondo Beyondo journey can help clarify things for me. I am still unsure if it is that I don't know what I want or that I don't want to allow myself to want it and get disappointed or that I feel like I don't deserve it. One thing from the book that I keep repeating to myself: "To put it briefly, false desires taste of fear; true desires taste of love."

Overall I am still glad I decided to join the Next Chapter Book Club's journey because reading only one chapter a week gives me time to think about it and try to implement it, even if it is sometimes frustrating.


{Photo credit: oddsock}

The Joy Diet: Week 2, Truth.

It's week two of reading The Joy Diet by Martha Beck with The Next Chapter Book Club.  This week's ingredient for a joyful life is truth.  There are so many juicy morsels in this week's ingredient that I hardly know where to start.  So I'll start with the truth.

The truth is that this week's ingredient challenged me in many ways, much more so than last week's "nothing".   And, if we are being honest, I didn't explore this chapter as fully as I might have liked, mostly due to a lack of time to get quiet and get introspective.  But here is what I know:  I've spent the past two years--in other ways, the past five--excavating my truth.  And it feels good.  Really good.  But it is a marathon and not a sprint and sometimes it is really challenging.

Beck includes a few useful questions for experiencing truth:  What am I feeling?  What hurts?  What is the painful story I am telling? Can I be sure that my painful story is true?  Is my painful story working? Can I think of another story that might work better?  And, my favorite of the questions and one that Beck labels an "action criterion", of the options available to me, which one brings the most love into the world?

Admittedly some days I got stuck at "what am I feeling?", which I think happens to everyone.  But on the days that I could work past that to the "Is my painful story working?" and "Which options bring the most love into the world?"  I tried these questions in relationship to questions and situations both big and small that I faced this week and found that it totally changed not only my perspective, but also how I reacted to what I was facing.  Turns out truth really is all it is cracked up to be and it brings a sense of peace with it.

And I leave you with a quote:

"Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor of the Nazi death camps, said, "There are two ways to go to the gas chamber: free or not free."  It is the truth that offers us this freedom, the freedom to test what we are taught, to accept what we feel in our hearts, to believe what we know in our bones, and to love ourselves--including the worst aspects of ourselves--until we see through enough of our illusions to discover who we were really meant to be."~Martha Beck, The Joy Diet, p. 44

{Photo credit: emdot}

The Joy Diet: Week 1

The first week of The Joy Diet by Martha Beck has come and gone for The Next Chapter Book Club.  This week's menu item to add joy to your life was "nothing".  

Beck writes, "Whether you're doing the program as an overall life enhancement, or using it to face some kind of trauma, I'm almost certain you need nothing--a good strong dose of nothing, and soon.  Okay, enough word play.  What I mean is that the best way to break through any barrier is to access a point of perfect stillness at the center of your being, a self deeper than your senses or your mind."

As someone who constantly lives, works, studies and plays at full speed, I needed to be reminded that we often need to replenish the well.  Through yoga, I have seen the benefits of a meditation practice and what breath work can do for your health and spirit.  I was happy to see that the very first menu item in the book was going to force me onto my meditation cushion.  In fact, for the first few days, I got onto the cushion first thing in the morning.  And it was helpful for clearing mental space and setting an intention, but it wasn't enough.  Once I got a taste of nothing, I wanted more.

It was with that idea in mind that I started setting my alarm clock for an hour and a half earlier than I am used to.  The first day it was nearly impossible to force myself out of bed but I did it.  I went to the gym, I wrote out my morning pages and then....I did nothing.  I sat out on the balcony in the early morning quiet as daylight arrived.  The next day I got into a yin yoga pose on my living room floor and just breathed, treasuring the few minutes of silence before the day began.  15 minutes of nothing became too few and I found myself getting up even earlier just to savor the quiet time.

The combination of exercise, journaling and nothingness led to this week begin one of my most productive in recent weeks.  I can't wait to see what the rest of the book has to offer!

{Photo credit: Darwin Bell}

The Next Chapter Book Club: The Joy Diet

The Next Chapter Book Club starts up today with its latest pick, The Joy Diet: 10 Daily Practices for a Happier Life by Martha Beck. We will spend the next several weeks reading the book together and then blogging about it.

The book itself has ten "menu items" of behaviors that make up the joy diet: nothing, truth, desire, creativity, risk, treats, play, laughter, connection and feasting. This first week we will read and think about the "nothing" portion of the book. I am very much looking forward to find ways to incorporate more "nothing time" into my overpacked schedule. Finding moments to breathe and appreciate life are more and more rare these days. I am also looking forward to sharing my experience with a group of like-minded women. My experience with these type of books is that having people to share you thoughts and reactions with can make all the difference in the world. I also have an unnatural obsession with positive psychology, particularly around happiness and gratitude, so this fits in perfectly with that.

I am so looking forward to having a book to jumpstart my thinking and my journal writing. While doing a google search, I came across these companion worksheets that I might use as well.

Here's to a great few weeks!